TGIF - 9/5/08

Life outside of cycling ... can there be such a thing ?

I've been struggling as of late with the word "balance". No, I don't mean the fact that I'm not the most graceful thing in the world. I mean having some semblance of balance in life: family, work, school, social life, vacation etc etc. Given that cycling is a haven for OCD-prone people (myself included), balance isn't exactly our ... forte.

We tend to have blinders on, eyes on the prize, pushing to the limits to achieve something that seems worthy at the time. I've heard of cyclists lying to significant others to get to races or having secret bank accounts so they don't have to justify paying more than double a mortgage payment for bike parts and accessories. I've seen kids, wives and husbands being hoodwinked (yeah, I said it) into a nice weekend trip only to find out later that they'll be spending half of it on the side of some godforsaken road in the "feedzone" for the privilege of a glimpse of their loved one about every hour or so. This is not balance. This is insanity !

I am not preaching here - I am guilty of the same. I suppose being a single professional keeps me from getting into too much trouble: no one to lie to, not in danger of going bankrupt for those new e-motion rollers. But I started to find that all the interactions I had with other people had something to do with cycling. I was living, breathing, sleeping - cycling. Any guys with potential for dating had to be as obnoxious about it as I was. I was missing out on weddings, celebrations, family gatherings, vacations ... all for the sake of not missing a race. The last real vacation I took without a bike was before I started racing. 5 years ago. All vacation time at work was reserved for out of town races or training camps.

Lets not even mention the lack of maintenance/upkeep on my house. Luckily my wardrobe consisted of mostly lycra other than dry cleaning items for work, so laundry was done on a regular basis if only to have kits to wear. My poor cat thought he was an orphan. He seemed more surprised when I was home on a weekend than not. My car hadn't been washed in months. My vespa sat idle because you can't carry a bike on a vespa.

The problem is that you get so caught up in training and racing that you don't realize that "real" life is passing by. I have had a couple of "off" weekends as the season winds down. I've caught up on some reading, devouring about 4 books in the last two weeks. (loved the twilight series ... easy, fun, mindless entertainment ... always looking for suggestions for new books. I digress.)

My non-cycling friends and family have been shocked to see me appear at late-summer events. My nieces declared that it must be really special if I'm there, 'cause I'm always racing. My sister kept asking when I had to leave, because she knew I needed to be on the bike somewhere at some point. As some of you probably noticed, I even took a break from blogging/participating in anything bike related. I didn't realize how stressed I was trying to finish out the season. How much I let it take over my every thought. These past few weeks have been eye-opening, at the very least.

The scary thing is that I was just contemplating trying cyclo-cross. I think I'll hold off on that until I can balance out road racing. If there is such a thing.

Have a great weekend !