Frank Franklin Fowler 1980-2009

He was short.
He had freckles.
I used to tease him until he grew into his ears, until he grew taller than me.

He was a sensitive kid.
He was kind.
I said no woman would be good enough for him in my eyes.

He wanted to be a better person.
He was the protective little brother.
When he smiled, it could light up a room

He had blue-grey eyes.
He loved his country.
His mother and two sisters meant the world to him.

He wanted to see the world.
He wanted to experience life.
He only made it as far as Key West as my date for Sarah's wedding.

He was a first-class contractor.
He was a perfectionist with his work.
Half the repairs in my house were done by him, most of the time in exchange for dinner and a place to get away from it all.

He was depressed.
He turned to addictions.
He turned into someone he didn't want to be.

He had friends.
He'd give the shirt off his back for a friend.
His friends tried to help him, everyone tried to help him.

He had pride.
He was stubborn.
There was so much more life left to live. He didn't see it that way.

He was loved.
He is loved.
Words can not explain the aching hole left in my heart.

I do not know how to stop the tears.
I do not know how to go on.
I know I will. I know others have.
I just don't know how.
Please don't ask if I'm okay because the answer is no.
I don't know if I'll ever be.

My little brother.
May he rest in the peace he never found in life.

Frank and Wendy in Key West - 2005.

TGIF - 2/6/2009

Another week down and we're now in February - race season is just around the corner... where has the time gone ? This weekend is supposed to be fabulous (weather-wise) so I expect everyone to get a little antsy about it - it's what I call an amateur weekend. You know who I'm talking about - those who are arguably smarter and arguably have more self control than those of us that have been freezing our arses off while they quietly go crazy looking at their four walls for hours at a time, but this is the kind of weekend when people you haven't seen in months venture outdoors for the first time.

You can tell them apart from the rest of us - while those of us who have been conditioned to the cold temps will be in arm warmers and knee warmers, these basement-dwellers will be decked out in all their Christmas presents - the hard-core gear they received as holiday gifts, still brand new (sometimes with tags still attached!) because they never ventured outside.

Since they'll be bundled up like its February or something, you'll also be able to spot them by the trail of sweat they leave behind .... on the warm up portion of the ride.

These riders - remember they're our brethren, they just aren't as willing to put lubricant on their faces in the out of doors - they'll be a little sketchy in the pack since they aren't used to actually having to steer their bikes.

The novelty of scenery that moves and carrying on a conversation while riding will be a little overwhelming for them so speak slowly and clearly while they adjust to the higher levels of stimuli.

Last, and most importantly, welcome them back into the fold. They'll have to hibernate again as the temps drop again- this is just a beautiful respite from the cold and, for them, the boredom of yet another indoor trainer session.

In some ways, these indoor-winter-warriors are stronger than you and I. I can only speak for myself but the homicide rate in Baltimore would be significantly higher if I didn't get outside a couple times a week on the bike.

Enjoy the weekend - ride safe!

Laughing at yourself (and others)

Before I go into the main topic, here's a photo that just begged to be posted. I tried my best to come up with something witty to accompany this picture. I failed, mostly because this picture tends to render most people speechless:

Zim: melons complimented today with cherries and cheese(cake).

Sorry, kids ... thats really the best I could come up with. Other suggestions are welcome.

So, I woke up this morning with about 1/2 inch of snow on the ground - just enough to make everything look clean and sparkle-y. And not enough that everything gets grungy as the day wears on - it'll melt away like nothing ever happened.

Of course, several people at work used this "snow storm" as an excuse to be late and, in one case, not come in (have you seen the roads ? My neighborhood hasn't been plowed at all!!). To me this is just silly. If you want to take the day off, make up a cough and call in sick with a raspy voice. Cite car trouble. Tell them you have food poisoning. (although I tend to avoid any of that because I'm afraid karma will come back at me and I actually WILL have whatever issue I'm claiming). But whatever you do, don't try to pretend that you're such a wuss that you can't drive in a half-inch of snow. I know people who commute via bike in snow all the time. Note the pic that graced GamJams a few days ago. Don't tell me that your Jeep Grand Cherokee can't traverse the perils of your neighborhood.

Honestly. I used to think that people, in general, suck. I now believe that most people are here as fodder for stories and blogs.

Yes, I'm fully aware that I qualify for that as well - and it's not easy to take my own medicine sometimes. I dont have a copy of it, but there's a picture floating around of me and Zim on Christmas eve ... we were sitting next to each other and I went to give her a big smack on the cheek and she turned into me at the last second. As a side note, all the boys at the party got real attentive all of a sudden.

Anyway, the pic was passed to a mutual friend before I even saw it and I was pretty unhappy (to put it mildly). But, through the words of a good friend (and the subject of some stories of her own), I have come to realize that I need to learn to laugh at myself if I'm going to laugh at others.

Mea culpa - it takes a while but I do learn the lesson.