New Year, Irony and Whipped Cream

Welcome to 2019 and the latest edition of the Month of Wendy!

I had you at Whipped Cream, didn't I?

I've been inspired to get back to writing this blog for various reasons, not the least of which is that I just miss writing. I often find myself in funny, ironic or otherwise noteworthy situations and I think - I should share this with someone! So, here I am sharing.

Unfortunately I can't share much about cycling these days. Life kinda got in the way of training these past two years. Not in any particular order: bought a house, lost Cassius the Cat, ended a roller coaster relationship last year, rescued two adorable kittens, went on a road trip, worked the Tour of California, almost quit my job, got promoted at my company and spent the last 6-8months trying to sell the company.

That's just the highlights.

I find humor in irony and I've witnessed plenty of that in both work and personal life. My most recent venture could be viewed as ironic: as of last week I completed my entry level Diving Certification. Yes, you read that right. I even completed the coursework for the Advanced Certification. The instructor noted at the end of that course that I need to work on getting streamlined- he said it looks like I'm trying to ride a bicycle underwater.

Apparently it's a thing.

I need another 15 dives to get the official certification so in the unlikely case someone reading this blog is interested in entertaining a noob, please feel free to reach out. 

Maybe not irony but just bad luck - I woke up the Friday before the New Year Holiday without a voice. Literally, no voice. Laryngitis. I've never had it, it's really weird not being able to talk. My kittens - in the "no", "stop that", "no claws", "get down from there" phase- were perplexed that I was clapping or banging the table to get their attention. They looked at me quizzically before deciding to stay the course of whatever they were doing.

Meet Cato and Marcel

I ordered some Bourbon from overseas (Blanton's - really hard to get unless you're standing at the loading dock at the liquor store when it's delivered. People judge you on that kind of move.) Anyway, it came in the day before and needed a signature, there was no way I was going to risk losing it.

They're super cute when they do things like this

I grabbed a notebook and wrote down my situation:

Hi, my name is Wendy Ulmer. 

I lost my voice yesterday. I have a package (tracking # here) that needs signature. They said they tried to deliver yesterday but I was home all day and no one rang. 

Thank you for your help.



The lady at Fedex greeted me and asked how she could help me. I laid the notebook on the counter and stood there with a stupid smile because I felt like an idiot. She looked at the notebook and says "what is this?". At that time I realized a common MO for robberies is handing the front desk person a note.

I quickly pointed out the first sentence and pulled out my ID. She responded by whispering "Oh, okay, I can get that for you". I laughed to myself thinking " I'M THE ONE WHO LOST MY VOICE, MY EARS ARE JUST FINE". 

Given my luck I needed to make sure the lost voice wasn't something worse. Also, WEBMD told me there can be two types of Laryngitis, viral (not a big deal) and bacterial (kinda big deal). Again, given my luck ... so I walked into Urgent Care with another note. I figured they didn't have a strong history of being held up with a note. Her response was the same - whispered "The doctor will be right with you". I would have laughed out loud if I could.

Finally, for your amusement I've added a couple of pictures from my birthday dinner with the
family. Yes, for my birthday I got a surprise plate of whip-cream in the face.

We love our family, don't we?

Happy 2019!

AVC Race Report

Due to unforeseen circumstances - I may or may not have been out too late on the bike -I missed pre-reg for the AVC road race (formerly known as the All American road race). I saw some of my favs were signed up, including two teammates, and decided I would roll out to Poolesville and pay the day-of fee.

The skies were ominous as I rolled out Saturday morning. On the drive up I got a message from one teammate saying she was out - it was storming at her place and loading up in the rain, much less racing in the rain, wasn't on her to-do list. Oh, and by the way, this is a different course than the one I know since I didn't race last year.

Arriving at the race venue I found the Shaggin' Wagon and pulled in to assess the conditions. Dana and I were of the same opinion regarding racing in the rain on this course. As in, not. It was legitimately raining by this point and I was signed off - I could just drive home and call it a day having sacrificed only a little time and gas money. About 20 minutes before start time, the skies cleared. The sun came out. And I cursed as I rushed through registration, setting up the bike, donning  the Colavita colors and pinning on a number. That, my friends, was my warm up.

We had a nice field (by current MABRA women's field standards) and I wasn't in great position on the roll out. The infamous yellow-line rule was in effect so I packed my patience as I worked my way up to a better spot. Despite (or maybe because of) my hectic "warm up" I felt pretty good and cleared the Mt. Nebo stretch in decent position even when I audibly said "another one?" on the last bump.  Approaching that section on the second lap we were directed to "slow roll" as another field was about to pass. I was surprised how this confused some in the peloton and that a couple girls thought it was the right time to gain position. Not cool.

The next lap was a little more contentious. I think some of us (me included) were getting toasty as the sun was out in full force after a cool morning under clouds. Racers were getting aggressive, fighting for wheels in limited space and coming up on the yellow line to shove their way on a wheel by pushing someone off the wheel into a spot that didn't exist. I admittedly had some words to say when this happened to me - I wasn't a complete jerk but I do tend to be ... less friendly ... when someone risks my safety without so much as a - hey, can I get in? When we organized a pace line of sorts I asked someone to let me in (in front of them) so I could take a pull. I got a smart-ass answer saying I could go to the back of the line. Fun.

Best moment of the race - one of the Mermaid girls was off the front on maybe the 3rd lap. NCVC and ABRT jumped to chase and somehow I hopped on. We had a gap on the field and were gaining on the girl ahead until they decided to stop working. I had one teammate in the field, both of them had at least 3. I muttered we're letting her get away and got a raving earful about how she's not going to be the one to chase, if someone else wanted to, go ahead but it won't be her. Then they looked back at the field that was catching us and shouted for someone else to go chase. There was nothing for me to do but laugh.

The field eventually came through and the pace picked up enough to catch the solo rider. My legs were getting tired on the last lap and I attacked off the back at the 3rd "bump" on Mt. Nebo. I chased the whole back side of the course. At one point I picked up two girls and when I pulled off the front they left me behind. I DEFINITELY was not having that. Sheer obstinance kicked in and I chased harder, picked off the two girls and made contact with the field before the final turn. As the pace picked up for the sprint I gave it all I had to come across 13th. After a good cool down ride with some great ladies I was glad I pinned on that number and stupid happy for what I felt was a good effort all around.

Progress - all progress.

TGIF: 4.28.17

I planned on re-entering the race scene with the shock-therapy of a two race weekend. Route One Rampage was in the books - somewhat of a success if only to show up, race my race and not wind up in the ER.

I left the race in a hurry to join my sister-from-another-mister and her family to color eggs. This has been their family tradition and I was thrilled to be included in the fun. A few hours later I headed home to empty out the race bag and replenish my kit and other supplies for Sunday's Jeff Cup adventure. If you saw my facebook post you know how that turned out.Long story short, My two-race weekend was relegated to one race and sitting on James Madison Highway for about 4 1/2 hours with a flat tire.

Onward: Carl Dolan. What a fantastic day to be on the bike! DC Velo ordered up some amazing weather and most everyone was happy to take part in the racing or spectating. Our women's field was fairly large (for recent standards). I was still on my aluminum CAAD but made the choice to fly my zipp 303s - this is progress, people! Colavita had a nice showing with 3 of us in the 1-2-3 race and one in the 4/5 race. It was great to be out there with teammies!

At the whistle Artemis attacked. We chased a lap or so and kept a solid pace from there. I stayed in the top 5 or so most of the race and tried to be smart; I didn't chase everything that moved. I let my bike take me through "the" corner without hesitation and the"hill" wasn't an issue.

Tulips on the way to HP

I was in a decent position taking the final turn into the hill but  my legs (and possibly my brain) disagreed with my ambition. I drifted back while encouraging teammates Marni and Chris as they came up on me. Chris gave me a run for the money with a final sprint. If not for that, we might have crossed the line holding hands for, what - 13th and 14th?

Random pics - tulips and more tulips, my first attempt at gardening in a while, wildlife and, finally, the PC way to alert you of speed bumps. 

Marine Corps Memorial Tulips

Planting in my side yard

Wildlife

Speed Coushions